I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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