omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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