i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
