Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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