The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We need a shit load of segways right now
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
