singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
