So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
