Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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