No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
