It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
