He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
