we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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