i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
