Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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