Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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