At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
