I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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