If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
