I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
