and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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