I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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