I wish I only lived at night.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
