I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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