You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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