hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
