peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sorry about my life...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
