We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
