i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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