Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
