He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
