Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
be right there i have to get my cape
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
