one might say we're banned from that church
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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