so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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