Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
