Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
