I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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