there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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