Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
