maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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