Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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