i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
