bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
