Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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