I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
