We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
