After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
