Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
