Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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