last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
