what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
