she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
