Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
