Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
