i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
