I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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