Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
sex in a hospital.. check
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
