TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
