I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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