What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize